Cut the circuit – Rewire your brain
For 10 seconds… look around you and watch out for everything that is brown.
Done it? Well now, tell me anything RED that you saw.
Now for another 10 seconds, look around you and watch out for everything that is red. It is quite likely that you see more red now then during the first round, because this is what you are focused on.
It’s the same with anything really, incl. our beliefs.
If we hold a certain belief about ourselves, we will look around for evidence that confirms it – and find it everywhere – while ignoring anything that could contradict it.
The only solution is consciousness. You need to become conscious about WHAT your beliefs are and conscious about WHAT you are doing (looking around for evidence). The more conscious you are, the more you can look at reality as a neutral observer and realize when it does not fit your beliefs. However, rather than twisting, interpreting and adjusting reality until it fits your beliefs again (by telling yourself stories about what it all means), you challenge the beliefs and are ready to adjust them.
I had some major epiphanies lately when it comes to my self-image. I was confronted several times with situations which my mind perceived as evidence for the beliefs that “I am not good enough. I am not loved. I am not wanted.” However, the way things unfolded left no doubt that this was absolutely untrue.
My consciousness did not allow me to ignore that “counter-evidence” anymore and I decided that it was time to consciously “cut” those old circuits in my brain and to rewire / create new neurological pathways. After all, those are simply MY beliefs, NOT an objective reality, and as such I have the power to change them.
Now, every time I feel that this old neurological circuit gets activated, I visualize cutting it and re-directing it towards the beliefs “I am worthy. I am loved. I am significant.” And WOW what a difference that makes. Suddenly I can look at the whole situation from a different angle. What seemed to confirm my unworthiness can actually just as well confirm my worthiness and lovability. The more I do that, the more I nurture those new beliefs and the more the old beliefs fade like a flower that is not watered anymore.
By doing so, I am not “suppressing” anything. I simply see what mechanism is being triggered in me, how my mind interprets the outside event as evidence for some old negative beliefs and how the associated thoughts (“this means I am not good enough – not loved – not wanted…”) create emotional pain, anger, sadness, etc. in me. I acknowledge and accept this AND I visualize cutting the link between the external event and the belief, because this belief actually does no longer serve me. What you allow is what will continue: If I allowed those old circuits to still be used, to continue to feed them with energy, it would be out of pure habit.
So if you know that you hold similar “I am not good enough” beliefs (and honestly, who does not?), maybe it’s time to stop looking for evidence that supposedly support them and instead start looking for evidence for NEW beliefs called “I am good enough. I am loved. I am wanted.” And I guarantee you that you will find it, too.